Emotional pain through research


Carolyn reads notes from the past

I’m working on my follow-up book to “save the teens” with a memoir on life with my son starting the day his depression began – the day his dad died. I’ve been okay writing my memories and then I decided to look back over my notes of what occurred and when they occurred (remember, I’m a researcher at heart). I started reading and then just had to shake my head because there were so many times when I should have been more aggressive with tackling Cameron’s behavior and I didn’t. Why not? Because I was busy with my own life and didn’t think what he was doing was that bad? Perhaps. I was busy because I have notes for all my activities and trips taken, too.

This all goes back to what I try to help other parents learn to do now. Do as I say and not as I did, or rather didn’t do. Get help for your teen when they start becoming someone who you no longer know.

I had written during the first year of his dad’s death, that Cameron told me he wanted to hurt himself. And then he took a pair of scissors and cut his face right in front of me. Why didn’t I take him to? What? A mental hospital? A psychiatrist? I just didn’t know what to do. I was fraught with disbelief of what I was seeing and hearing.

I did end up getting him to a therapist but that only lasted just so long before Cameron revolted again him. He clammed up, as you parents know your teens will do. When Cameron started being abusive with drugs and alcohol, I called the latest therapist up and asked “What do I do now?” He had me get him into a drug rehabilitation center ASAP.

I also read the note he wrote to his girlfriend during the hours before he decided to end his life. Cameron sure didn’t sound like he was tired of life in the note. So I began the questioning in my head of what made him snap that fateful morning. (My son suicided on August 11, 2005.)

It’s okay; I took a shower and cleansed those thoughts out of my head. I have to remind myself that it’s done now and to just try and help parents with their teens so we might save a life here and there.

So my plea to the parents (and grandparents) who read this – please get help sooner than later. There’s no harm in finding out if your child is depressed or not. If they are, make a commitment to see it to the end which would be a healthy and happy teen again.

My plea to therapists and counselors – listen to the parents. You know that kids don’t always tell the truth but parents don’t lie about what’s going on in their houses. Try to work out a system to help the whole family. Peer or family counseling might be the answer. Just please try to help them save their teens. Depressed teens probably ignore the sayings like “it gets better” because to them life sucks now. They can’t see beyond today and their pain.

You can help me by reading “save the teens” and asking me to come speak to some willing parents who will benefit from my message of hope and recovery. I share my story of loss as well as the signs of teen depression and drug use.

Thanks for caring about our teens.

P.S. Please share this post far and wide.

One Response to “Emotional pain through research”

  1. 24 Jun 2011 at 2:15 pm markingtwain
    reply

    The blog looks great, Carolyn! Keep up the good work!

    Like

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